Valentine Kedua

Agustus lalu menandakan penutupan tahun pertama hubungan kami. Tahun pertama yang luar biasa, kalo buat gue. Ada kali, kalo tiga kali gue minta putus. Iya, tiga kali. Dalam setahun pertama. Luar biasa, memang. Bukan, bukan perkara dia yang masih ngga mau pergi setelah tiga kali ditalak, tapi karena ternyata gue susah banget dilupain *dikeplak pacar*

Valentine memang bukan hari gede yang kaya gimana-gimana sik. I mean, it’s a celebration of love, alright, but I don’t really think that we need to celebrate it like it’s something special. You don’t need a specific day to express your love to people around you. Tapi karena gue menolak untuk merayakan valentine dengan biasa-biasa aja, I came up with an idea to make each other a playlist. Why a playlist? I realized that this year, we spent an awful lot of conversation discussing about music. About upcoming artists, about cheesy songs we shared for laughs, sampe ke diskusi superberat masalah genre musik apa yang cocok didengarkan dan dipoles oleh Korea Utara di rezim Kim Jong Un untuk mendongkrak sektor politik, sosial budaya, dan pertahanan keamanan demi menyambut masyarakat ekonomi dunia. Okay, yang terakhir bohong.

Begitulah. Sebuah playlist, yang akan gue share juga kesini. Supaya si pacar, dan juga yang baca ini, tahu cerita di balik pemilihan masing-masing lagu (dan juga supaya klen tahu betapa okenya selera musik gue. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. *di-report as spam berjamaah).


 

1. Jessie Ware & Sampha – Valentine

Yaa udah sik yaa. Ketebak sih. Cheesy sih. Tapi gimana dong. Kurang pas apalagi cobak playlist valentine diawali oleh lagu judulnya Valentine. Yang penting bukan Valentine-nya Martina McBride yang udah bergaung indah kemana-mana yekaaaaaan. Anyway, Jessie Ware ini merupakan salah satu penyanyi favorit gue di tahun 2015 kemarin. Di sini dia berkolaborasi dengan Sampha. Tetapi percayalah, Sampha ini suaranya ngga sampha kok..

(Get it? ‘Cause his name is Sampha..as in sampah..as in..hahaha. ha. ha. No? Well..okay. Sorry)

 

2. Nina Nesbitt – Chewing Gum

Lagu yang kedua ini purely karena gue suka banget ama lagunya. Dan video klipnya. To be honest, gue ngga pernah dengar tentang Nina Nesbitt sebelumnya. Tapi setelah berkenalan dengan lagu ini, gue baru tahu kalo si Nina Nesbitt ini judul lagunya keren-keren. Judul yang paling gue suka? Peroxide. Lagunya kaya gimana? Gue belom denger. Bhay.

 

3. Stevie Wonder – Too High

Okay. Jadi, waktu pertama kali gue sok ide bikin playlist ini, premis gue ke pacar adalah “playlist yang kira-kira disuka oleh pasangan”. Tapi karena gue dan pacar sama-sama keras kepala, I just knew that there are going to be some songs yang dia paksain masuk ke sini. Yakin. Maka dari itu, gue juga masukin lagu satu ini. For me, Too High is one of Stevie’s best songs. Progresi chord-nya asik. Motown-nya kental banget. My cup of tea!

 

4. Paloma Faith – Only Love Can Hurt Like This

Perkara lagu ini, gue menyalahkan Chesa Yuni Kartika. Bhay!

Terlepas dari pengaruh cabe Cilincing yang namanya gue sebut di atas, I really really dig Paloma Faith. Makanya gue masukin lagu ini. One word: SUKAK!

 

5. Thomas Azier – Angelene

I wasn’t kidding when I said that both me and boyfriend would force each other’s taste. I probably overdid it a little, makanya yang satu ini akhirnya mencoba “meraba” selera pacar dengan lagu ini. I know, I know, this might be too electric-ish, but hey, I tried! Tapi gue yakin pacar bakal suka sama Thomas Azier ini, secara dia pemenang Friesland Pop Talent Award tahun 2012. Apa hubungannya? Ngga ada.

 

6. Portishead – Roads

Kalo lo si pacar, lagu apa yang bikin dia keingetan gue, pasti jawabannya James Blake’s Retrogade. Nggatau kenapa. Mungkin karena gue setampan James Blake. Si pacar (kalo selera musiknya lagi bener) emang suka banget sama tipe lagu begituan. The more hypnotizing the song, the more he likes it. Setelah beberapa hari menggali lebih dalam kepada babang James Blake, I stumbled upon Portishead, dan Roads ini adalah lagu yang paling gue suka.

 

7. Death Cab for Cutie – Talking Bird

Walaupun judul lagunya demikian, gue agak yakin burung si pacar ngga bisa ngomong kok. Yakin. Udah gue ajak ngobrol sebelumnya, dia ngga nyautin. Gue langsung bete.

Anyhow, Death Cab for Cutie ini terdiri dari tiga orang sugar daddy yang nampaknya menyenangkan untuk dicemil pada Minggu sore yang cerah ceria. Lagunya perpaduan antara James Blake (lagi) dengan Damien Rice. Suaranya pun sebelas duabelas…..ribu.

 

8. Damien Rice – Amie

Kalo ngga salah ingat, O ini adalah album Damien Rice favoritnya si pacar. Atau favorit gue yaa? Gue lupa. Amie, definitely one of the frontrunners of my favorite song in the album. Bahkan lebih gue suka daripada Cannonball. Oh well.

 

9. Erykah Badu – I’m In Love With You (ft. Stephen Marley)

Gue inget banget salah satu percakapan pertama gue dengan si pacar saat kopi darat adalah, “kalo Jay suka ngedengerin musik? Musik apa?”. Dan sebelum lo tanya, iya, dia manggil gue in third person kaya gitu. Jawaban gue? Stevie Wonder, India Arie, dan Erykah Badu. Si pacar udah kenyang denger playlist gue untuk Stevie Wonder dan India Arie, now it’s time for Erykah Badu. Yaa walaupun tadi pun udah ada Stevie Wonder di lagu sebelumnya, dan bakal ada India Arie nantinya sih..

 

10. Amy Winehouse – Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow

In case you wonder, if anyone asked me what is my most favorite song in this playlist, I’d have to say this one. I grew up listening to Amy Winehouse, watched her soar and crash landed. She was one of my inspiration, and for this Valentine, I want to share how beautiful she was and sounded at the time.. :”)

 

11. Amel Larrieux – For Real

Selain menyukai lagu-lagu yang menyerupai James Blake dan Lykke Li, si pacar juga menyukai R&B secara hardcore. Seringkali, dia mencoba menyanyikan lagu-lagu seperti ini di karaoke (jangan tanya gimana bentuk lagunya. Jangan aja). Di lagu kesebelas ini, gue berusaha menyayanginya dengan menghadirkan lagu ini ke playlist. Siapatau dia makin sayang yekaaaaaaaan.

 

12. India.Arie – Chocolate High (ft. Musiq Soulchild)

Seperti janji gue, gue akan memasukkan India.Arie ke dalam playlist gue, dan lagu ini jadi pilihannya. What would be better than ending this Valentine playlist using the most delicious love song ever created? Sepertinya kisah cinta India.Arie ini mirip dengan gue: terasosiasi dengan makanan.

“..tasty like Hershey’s and Nestle. You’re rich like Godiva, boy, you’re just so sexy..”

Fix tinggal dibikin roti bakar.


 

Yak. Itulah duabelas lagu yang gue racik buat Valentine tahun ini. Mudah-mudahan yang dibikin playlist suka. Fingers crossed! 😀

Gay Privilege Or White Privilege?

It really depends how you perceive this matter, but like it or hate it, same-sex marriage is now legal in some of the most developed country. LGBT community fought their rights of unity for so long that they may see the impact now. The Netherlands became the first country to legalize same-sex marriage in 2001 was the first impact of such action. By the time I write this entry, 20 other countries followed Netherlands’ footstep.

You Shall Not Marry
The definition of marriage varies among people. Some belive that marriage is holy, a blessing, a path towards an ultimate happiness. It is a symbol of love, as The Holy Above provides His people a partner to take care of each other. These people – who perceive marriage and religion as one inseparable communion often insist that marriage should be a relationship between men and women. They believed that LGBT people are incapable of building a family, intimacy, harmony, let alone raising a child of their own; same-sex couples can’t have one of their own to start! But in modern era, where the divorce rate is higher than ever, the idea of marriage being a holy communion might be questionable.

On the other side, the ones who claimed themselves to be more “modern”, believe that marriage is overrated. The union might be good for some, but may not suit others. It is wonderful to be married, to have a partner of your own, but it’s okay if you don’t. Some people even go as far as stating the marriage “is not for them”, implementing that marriage is an overly-glorified ancient culture.

Note that these two parties are standing on two extra-contradictive places, in one giant controversial discussion of all time: the religion. Up till now, the religion is still the main issue of deciding the legalization of same-sex marriage. No religion-based country has legalized same-sex marriage yet.

Marriage is both ubiquitous and central. All across our country, in every region, every social class, every race and ethnicity, every religion or non-religion, people get married. For many if not most people, moreover, marriage is not a trivial matter. It is a key to the pursuit of happiness, something people aspire to—and keep aspiring to, again and again, even when their experience has been far from happy. To be told “You cannot get married” is thus to be excluded from one of the defining rituals of the American life cycle.

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#LoveWins And White Privilege
Same-sex marriage had been silenced ever since The Netherlands became the first country to legalize the union. It didn’t get the global attention until America declared their ammendment in June 2015. Since then, the legalization of same-sex marriage appeared to be sporadic and other countries are following that step.

One interesting fact rose in between this controversial mass-decision: is it actually white privilege or if it ever existed – gay privilege?

Michelle Hickford wrote a very interesting article in Allen Bwest’s site:

“I am wondering if homosexuality is part of “white privilege” — if there is in fact “gay privilege,” which is conferred by the privileged white leadership. Because other than Jacob Zuma, the leader of South Africa — and one genetic half of our president — none of the leaders of the countries which allow gay marriage are people of color. The grandparents of Cristina Fernández de Kirchner, the president of Argentina were from Spain and Germany. Even the president of Brazil, Dilma Rousseff, has Bulgarian ancestry.

Also of note is the fact that gay marriage is allowed in majority Christian countries – you know, those same terribly intolerant Christians who won’t bake wedding cakes or pizzas.”

I don’t know about this, but this might raise a question and I actually find it interesting.

Somehow, this intrigues me as a gay man of color who lives in developing country. The media shaped us to believe that homosexuality might be okay, might be tolerable. Especially since Hollywood right now loves LGBT in their shows. It all started when Queer As A Folk made its first appearance in public television in 2000. It was the first TV Shows that liberally exposed gay relationship among the community. One problem, though, all the casts, were white.

Media do love their LGBT friends. They worked with them, chat with them, etc. But when it came to exposing them in front of camera, it is a different story.

Ellen Degeneres and Neil Patrick Harris is two examples of gay celebrities who got exposed greatly in media. Even after the first teenage TV series who went all out in exposing gay man, Glee, casted their gay characters white. Meanwhile, the gay people of color might not get the same spotlight for their sexuality. Andre Leon-Talley, RuPaul, Queen Latifah, are some examples of people of color who are interesting enough to share hefty amount of spotlight in front of camera…but not for talking about their sexuality.

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Neil Patrick Harris and his spouse, David Burtka

This might sounds like agenda-setting to me. The community is shaped into believing that LGBT legalization actually happened in a total different world. The amount of exposure, the air-time, the variables, the culture are happening in a whole different story. It is not relatable. The freedom, the legalization, the right to marry is only a privilege of white supremacy.

The latest news I received is that Japan now became the latest edition of the countries who embraces the LGBT marriage. Funny enough, Japan and USA relationship is very close. What do you think?

Peripheral LGBT
It seems that LGBT in peripheral countries might wait a bit longer to unite with their partners. This movement takes patience and neverending discussion. Currently, this issue still raises mayhem and controversies everywhere, especially in those countries where the religion is still flowing thick. One good thing, though, LGBT is no longer considered as a psychological disease since WHO had retracted homosexuality from being a disease. Same-sex marriage has now became a fight against moral and value of people, and that is an even greater battle.

YouTube Fan Fest Came To Indonesia, And I’m Jealous!

Let’s face it, people. YouTube is NOT the next big thing. YouTube IS the big thing. It’s literally everywhere. Well, as long as you have internet connection to access the website, of course.

So, anyway, last month, October 23rd, to be precise, YouTube is coming over to Indonesia. Yes, YouTube came to one of the 10 countries with the slowest internet connection in the world.

One fun fact, though, the internet had been established in Indonesia as early as 1983, so I think it’s safe to say that internet development is a bit too slow. But heck, we’re being noticed by YouTube nevertheless. YAY!

The event was called YouTube Fan Fest Indonesia 2015. The line-up was pretty amazing. One particular YouTube artist that I am most excited about is SAM TSUI. If you happened to be in unknown area which made you clueless about who Sam Tsui is, I pity you.

I watched my first video about Sam Tsui and Kurt Hugo during the mourning period of the deceased Michael Jackson. And at that time, I was blown away. Here, you should check him out.

Okay, other than Sam Tsui, there is this girl, Bethany Mota. I don’t really know who she is, but apparently she is one of the trending “social media darling” who appeared literally everywhere, from Snapchat, Periscope, YouTube, etc. Apparently, she has lots of fans, so, good for her. YouTube Fan Fest Indonesia 2015 also featured several Indonesian YouTube celebrities, such as Edozell, SkinnyIndonesian24, Jakarta Beatbox, etc.

The hype from Indonesian YouTube viewers was also huge. Most probably because the ticket was free. 3000 tickets were distributed and they were booked out in just a day. It didn’t stop there, there were about 9000 people were streaming the event live. I don’t blame them. The event looked really fun! My friend, Sophia made a pretty cool footage of the event. Watch!

Okay, now I’m jealous. Hopefully there would be YouTube Fan Fest 2016, and I definitely would be the first in line for the event. If you want to see the whole event, you can also watch it here:

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ps: the data I mentioned about Indonesia’s internet statistics is from elist10.com. You should check it, in case you want to see some other random lists.

Dear GO-JEK, Thanks But No Thanks

Do you know what’s good about living in 2015? Everything is within your reach. Like, literally everything. If you’re hungry, you can dial a hotline and have the food delivered to you. You’re stuck with your homework, you can actually Google everything, and the answer would be handed to you in silver platter. If you’re lonely, your next bae is a swipe right away in Tinder (or Grindr, if you’re that type). If you want to shop from a store somewhere in Lithuania, you can always head to Amazon and place your order there.

See, everything is easy; so easy that the obesity rate in the world is soaring high, leaving the only six-pack community in the world: your thumb. And then, enter GO-JEK.

GO-JEK may seems like the savior of our hectic, metropolitan life. It provides a convenient services, such as private motorcycle drivers, document and food deliveries, and..

Private shoppers. Seriously.
I’m not kidding. Watch this:

Okay. I might exaggerate things, but am I the only person who thinks that it’s getting a bit creepy?

First of all, I want to make it clear that I have nothing against GO-JEK. It’s super convenient and probably beneficial for some, and I’m not saying that I wouldn’t use their many services one day. Still, my question is: does it have to be like this?

Gue akan mengesampingkan GO-JEK dulu, dan berbicara masalah ibukota yang kita sayangi ini. Menurut Antaranews, jumlah kendaraan pribadi di Jakarta bertambah sebanyak 12 persen per tahun. It may sound nothing, tapi itu berarti jumlah kendaraan pribadi di Jakarta bertambah sebanyak 5.000-6.000 kendaraan per hari. Tinggal berharap aja jalan di Jakarta yang hanya bisa tumbuh sebanyak 0,01% per tahun mampu menampung segitu banyak kendaraan. And people still wonder why Jakarta traffic is almost unbearable.

Kalau mau positive thinking, mungkin GO-JEK bisa mengurangi jumlah pertumbuhan kendaraan di Jakarta. Siapa tahu, orang jadi males bawa kendaraan dan mengandalkan GO-JEK buat kemana-mana. Tapi nyatanya kan ngga kaya gitu.

Let’s face it: Indonesians are divas. Yes. Divas. Kalo biasa beradem-adem naik mobil, bakal bilang, “..idih. Ogah gue pake GO-JEK. Panas naik motor, kena polusi, helmnya bau. Creambath dua kali sehari dong gue, cynn..”. Okay, ngga usah naik GO-JEK. Naik TransJakarta deh. Enak, adem, murah. “..Sinting yaa lo. Gue disuruh dusel-duselan ama rakyat jelata. Belom ntar jalan dari halte ke kantor. Jauh, keringetan. Ntar gebetan gue di kantor malah ilfeel, eym..”

Yaa udah. Atur aja idup lo.
Sayangnya, ngga cuma consumers yang diva. Supir GO-JEK pun diva.

“Eh nih, ada orang minta dianterin sampe Bintaro. Jauh gila. Macet pula. Udah, lo aja deh yang ambil. Males gue..” Begitulah bunyinya, kira-kira (kalo mereka semua sengondek gue). Banyak pula supir GO-JEK yang “banyak akal” dan memasang status sudah menjemput padahal si penumpang masih berdiri kehausan diterpa angin penuh polusi di Jalan Sudirman. This failure to maintain their excellent services is what makes think that GO-JEK is not an ideal solution to our transportation. Instead of choosing their convenient service, people would still prefer to use their private vehicles. Instead of being a solution, GO-JEK becomes an alternative. Instead of reducing the problem, GO-JEK might as well be one of the source of the problem

Bukti lain bahwa orang Indonesia bermental diva, adalah kendaraan yang paling laku adalah kendaraan yang bisa “ngawur”. Bisa bilang ‘kiri’ kapan aja, and voila, you’re dropped in front of your office. Ngga perlu keringetan jalan kaki. Taxi, Kopaja, Angkot, these transportations are killing our traffic.

Okay, gue ngga mau berlama-lama ngomongin traffic di Jakarta. Sebelum gue dibantai ama jutaan rakyat Indonesia. All I’m saying is, for now, GO-JEK is still a convenient alternative, but it offers no solution like they claimed. Sampai pemerintah memunculkan transportasi publik yang benar-benar memadai dan mewadahi penduduk Jakarta, maka kemacetan Jakarta hanya akan bertambah parah. Sampai masyarakat memiliki kesadaran untuk mengurangi ‘manja’ nya, maka solusi apapun dari pemerintah tidak dapat dimaksimalkan.

I appreciate what GO-JEK is trying to do here. Paling ngga gue kalo pengen Martabak Boss ngga perlu mengarungi Tanah Abang yang macetnya kaya otak gue pas mau UAS untuk bisa sampe Sarinah. But at least for now, I haven’t used GO-JEK, and still true to my principle: thanks, but no thanks.

Another Chapter, Another Topic

WHOAAAAA! How long has it been since my last unfinished #KamuPulangLagi. Mulai dari dia mudik, ampe akhirnya jalan keliling Indonesia, lalu balik lagi, belom kelar-kelar project nya. Yaa udah sik yaa. Pacar gue lumayan pengertian kok.

..sepertinya.
Sih.

Okay, so, I’m back again with new project. Since now I’m officially a Mass Communication class (an excellent one. Ehm. And the Class President at that as well. Ehm), I have to attend this subject named Media Convergence, which to make it simple, is subject where I’m going to learn how media industries are using a combined force of media to deliver certain messages.

What’s the first project?
A BLOG! Yay!

Jadi selain gue nanti ngepost hal-hal yang berguna untuk nusa dan bangsa, gue juga akan posting hal-hal yang berkaitan dengan tugas-tugas gue sebagai mahasiswa komunikasi yang bermisi untuk mencerdaskan kehidupan bangsa.

My lecturer promised my class to make each assignment interesting, so I’mma hold on to that.. 😂😂😂😂

My first assignment post is coming up real soon after the break..

((insert ads here))

((anyone?))

((Google?))

((No?))

((oh well..))

Razor Defloration

I used to be able to brag about how I’m such a precise shaver. I mean, I never cut my skin while shaving with a razor blade, well, except for those zists that happened to be on my razor tracks. Other than that, I had always been careful with my blades, and believe me, it is trickier than you imagined!

That is, until this morning, when I accidentally ran my blades against the edge of my pride, my soul, my asset, my beautiful, pretty, voluptuous, gorgeous lips.

Of all the skin that can be deflowered by my razor blades, it chose my lips!!! WHY..?!!!

And the result was disastrous!

Here is the thing: my lips are sensitive. Like, seriously sensitive. Food allergies would pass to my lips first then to other parts of my body, my lips would swell if I smoke too much, etc. And apparently, my blades are fond of the defloration of my lips skin, it cut them deep.

I kid you not, I took 5 sheets of tissue in hopes of stopping the blood, but it was still dripping. I panicked, not because I’m a dramatic bitch (though it may have been one of the cause), but also because I had an appoitnment after that. And won’t it be perfect to talk to someone while holding a tissue, or forming a pool of blood dripping from my lips.

So I googled, how to stop bleeding after shaving cut. I know, internet these days could save a life.

Among the suggestions, I found one absurd trick, using a deodorant.

If I cut myself on the cheek, it won’t be an issue. But since I cut it on the lips, HELL NO I’M NOT GOING TO PUT WHAT WAS MEANT FOR MY ARMPIT TO MY MOUTH!!

But I’m out of options and my appointment was running short, so I decided to nip my fingers on to my deodorant, and rub it to my lips like I’m rubbing lip balm.

It tastes like shit, but the bleeding stopped.

Like, literally stopped. Just like that.

Huh. It turned out that deodoran has enough Alumunium which helps to stop your bleeding.
So I pinched in a bit more, and I applied it again to my lips. It didn’t taste as bad as the first time.

I’m just glad my boyfriend is out of town so he doesn’t have to taste my armpit from my mouth.. 😂😂😂

So yeah, that was my experience in cutting my own lips, and how internet just saved my life.

If you’re curious about the tips, here’s the link:
http://www.gq.com/story/drop-the-toilet-paper-5-surprising-ways-to-stop-a-shave-cut-from-bleeding

Lesson of the day:
Always, ALWAYS, have a stick of lip balm in your toilette, or else your mouth would taste and smell like pits all day long..

#KamuPulangLagi
Day: 6

I Love U(s) Part 3

I love you.
Not because I love your smile, or your laugh, or your stale jokes, or your silly stories you’d share with me every night after you got home.
No.
I love you because I know I can’t love anyone else with the exact same stupidity. I don’t know if I can. It has to be you.

I love you.
Not because you’re a kind-hearted person I admired since the first time I laid my eyes on you. Not because you were loved by many.
No.
I love you because anybody could be like you, and yet you’re the only one who would be perfect for me.
Because you are loved by many, cared by many. You could have picked anybody. Yet, there you were, cuddling me during my fever, stayed up the whole night trying to keep me warm while closely watching my temperature.

I love you.
Not because you’re the most perfect person in the world. No. I know you’re full of flaw.
I love you because I know where to fit. I know there are some places I could fill. I know where I belong.

I love you.
Not because you understand me. God knows you misunderstood me thousand times. Even now, right in this second.
I love you because you took the time to try to listen. I know you weren’t always listening. But I can see that you’re willing to try.

I love you.
Not because we fall to each other everyday. No. We both know we fell in and out of love with each other million times.
I love you because everytime we fall apart, we’d crawl our ways back to each other.

I love you.
Not because you told me so each and every time you had the chance.
I love you because you decided to love me, even in times when you don’t.

I love you.
Not because loving you is easy. You’re one of the most difficult person to love. Believe me. I had never had to try this hard for love.
I love you because each time I woke up, I found another way to love you. And then the next. And the next.

I love you.
Maybe.
I can’t promise you that.
What I could is to promise you that I’d be here. Relentlessly trying to hold your hands eventhough most of the time you wouldn’t want to touch mine.

I’m love you.
Sort of.
Because I don’t know why you chose me.

Jakarta, 24 Juli 2015
#KamuPulangLagi
Day: 5